So, I feel as if the cosmos have shifted. I am in this deep mood to get things done! This whole out-with-the-old energy also pertains to someone from my past. I haven't written poetry in a really REALLY long time, so tonight I let the creative energy flow. This is what I got. Not too shabby... if I do say so myself!
Your face has begun to fade
into the shadows
where you reside
laughing at your charming life
while your love
divine and derelict
crumbles
into the obsidian abyss
sharp, curdled, cunning
slips
away
Very rarely do your eyes
pierce my dreams
and make them bleed
like drops of roses
crimson fevered
lullaby
that lulled my heart
into demise
to believe that love
has passed
away
You have disappeared
like an apparition
haunting
brooding eyes
and soured soul
ruining the hereafter
for there is no life
after love
when you are
singing sanity
away
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Thursday, May 2, 2013
What Kind of Friend I Am
Things we have established about me:
1) I hate formalities. They make me uncomfortable
2) I am emetophobic and I hate germs. They make me uncomfotable...
Soooo, it should come as no surprise to you that I have been having a little battle with anxiety today. The last couple of days have been ridiculously eventful. From a storm causing me to spend $2,500 that I didn't really have for new appliances, to a sudden accident that made me realize what kind of friend I am. My tone today is going to be a little different because I am going wow you with some philosophical wisdom; so please by all means get comfortable and listen while I pour my heart out to you.
If there is one thing that I despise-it is insincerity. Another thing that I find equally vexatious is when one takes the pain and misfortune of another and tries to selfishly drum up pity. Please don't think that the latter is what I am trying to accomplish with what I am about to say.
Last night, a friend who was once a very dear friend (and first real crush) was in a terrible accident. Given the nature of how news circulates, I wrongly believed him to be on the edge of death. For those first few minutes I was beside myself with worry and deep angst. I suddenly remembered all of the past occasions that we had enjoyed as great friends. I remembered him sneaking into my annual St. Patrick's Day sleepovers. I remembered conversations about God, Youth Groups, the beautiful way that he dances, his passion for making women look and feel beautiful, and when he so casually came out to a group of friends and me. These are the things that have made me love him for years. These are the things that I think about when I think of him...but how long has it been since I have talked to or even seen him? Let me think....YEARS! To the people who have been around him and regularly see him this whole confession may sound strange, but this pivotal moment made me realize what kind of friend I am.
I always think that I will send flowers, or a card, or even just a casual email to let people know that I am thinking about them; I never do. It isn't because I don't care, it is because I genuinely forget. How many times am I going to forget until it is too late to tell someone that I truly care for them even though I am silent? From now until eternity I resolve to open my mouth and speak the language of my heart. For those of you that know me be prepared to feel the "Lifetime movie" of feelings that I have for you. And now a public service announcement:
Because I have been way to serious!! Bet you didn't see THAT one coming did you?! Because we all know that why should you be an adult when you can be me?
1) I hate formalities. They make me uncomfortable
2) I am emetophobic and I hate germs. They make me uncomfotable...
Soooo, it should come as no surprise to you that I have been having a little battle with anxiety today. The last couple of days have been ridiculously eventful. From a storm causing me to spend $2,500 that I didn't really have for new appliances, to a sudden accident that made me realize what kind of friend I am. My tone today is going to be a little different because I am going wow you with some philosophical wisdom; so please by all means get comfortable and listen while I pour my heart out to you.
If there is one thing that I despise-it is insincerity. Another thing that I find equally vexatious is when one takes the pain and misfortune of another and tries to selfishly drum up pity. Please don't think that the latter is what I am trying to accomplish with what I am about to say.
Last night, a friend who was once a very dear friend (and first real crush) was in a terrible accident. Given the nature of how news circulates, I wrongly believed him to be on the edge of death. For those first few minutes I was beside myself with worry and deep angst. I suddenly remembered all of the past occasions that we had enjoyed as great friends. I remembered him sneaking into my annual St. Patrick's Day sleepovers. I remembered conversations about God, Youth Groups, the beautiful way that he dances, his passion for making women look and feel beautiful, and when he so casually came out to a group of friends and me. These are the things that have made me love him for years. These are the things that I think about when I think of him...but how long has it been since I have talked to or even seen him? Let me think....YEARS! To the people who have been around him and regularly see him this whole confession may sound strange, but this pivotal moment made me realize what kind of friend I am.
I always think that I will send flowers, or a card, or even just a casual email to let people know that I am thinking about them; I never do. It isn't because I don't care, it is because I genuinely forget. How many times am I going to forget until it is too late to tell someone that I truly care for them even though I am silent? From now until eternity I resolve to open my mouth and speak the language of my heart. For those of you that know me be prepared to feel the "Lifetime movie" of feelings that I have for you. And now a public service announcement:
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