What Kind of Friend I Am

Things we have established about me:
1) I hate formalities. They make me uncomfortable
2) I am emetophobic and I hate germs. They make me uncomfotable...

Soooo, it should come as no surprise to you that I have been having a little battle with anxiety today. The last couple of days have been ridiculously eventful. From a storm causing me to spend $2,500 that I didn't really have for new appliances, to a sudden accident that made me realize what kind of friend I am. My tone today is going to be a little different because I am going wow you with some philosophical wisdom; so please by all means get comfortable and listen while I pour my heart out to you.

If there is one thing that I despise-it is insincerity. Another thing that I find equally vexatious is when one takes the pain and misfortune of another and tries to selfishly drum up pity. Please don't think that the latter is what I am trying to accomplish with what I am about to say.

Last night, a friend who was once a very dear friend (and first real crush) was in a terrible accident. Given the nature of how news circulates, I wrongly believed him to be on the edge of death. For those first few minutes I was beside myself with worry and deep angst. I suddenly remembered all of the past occasions that we had enjoyed as great friends. I remembered him sneaking into my annual St. Patrick's Day sleepovers. I remembered conversations about God, Youth Groups, the beautiful way that he dances, his passion for making women look and feel beautiful, and when he so casually came out to a group of friends and me. These are the things that have made me love him for years. These are the things that I think about when I think of him...but how long has it been since I have talked to or even seen him? Let me think....YEARS! To the people who have been around him and regularly see him this whole confession may sound strange, but this pivotal moment made me realize what kind of friend I am.

I always think that I will send flowers, or a card, or even just a casual email to let people know that I am thinking about them; I never do. It isn't because I don't care, it is because I genuinely forget. How many times am I going to forget until it is too late to tell someone that I truly care for them even though I am silent? From now until eternity I resolve to open my mouth and speak the language of my heart. For those of you that know me be prepared to feel the "Lifetime movie" of feelings that I have for you. And now a public service announcement:

 Because I have been way to serious!! Bet you didn't see THAT one coming did you?! Because we all know that why should you be an adult when you can be me?